I guess a lot of posts from now on will be reminiscing about stuff.
I was in Salisbury yesterday, was waiting for my wife, who was at the opticians, and sat on the edge of the Market Square just watching the world go by. It is weird about having a brain injury - certainly immediately after the stroke I never thought I'd see Salisbury again, then when I did get out of hospital, going into Salisbury was like going to a different world. Part of that undoubtedly is because my habits have changed - rather than shopping, I've got everything I need so am happy to sit and watch people, but that trend of downsizing was happening anyway, even before the stroke, so possibly a healthy me would have behaved just the same?
But yeah, the fog is clearing now but it certainly felt like the Twilight Zone. I suppose as I've become more able to go places, my world has gradually gotten bigger. I do recognise that getting to the bus stop was my first mega-milestone, just because it allowed me to get further afield. If I hadn't have made that one, I've no doubt it would ultimately be fatal.
What's quite strange is that I must have improved gradually over time, I've always kind thought along the lines "aren't I doing well?" I mean, I'm stronger now, certainly, than a couple of years ago, but even back then I don't remember thinking "I'm a wreck now but I'll be better in 2 years". I mean, I certainly think the second half of that - that I'll keep getting better - but certainly not the first half. I'm confident that there'll come a time when nobody will know I ever had a stroke. I'll always know, but nobody else will.
I probably haven't said things very well. Reading it back, I don't think I've particularly done a good job.
The other nostalgic thing which happened yesterday was that, quite by accident, I met the guy who was my next door neighbour in hospital. They put us next to each other because we were both youngsters, in fact I think this guy was only in his thirties, even younger than me. He hadn't had a stroke, but had had some other brain injury, I'm not sure which. I wouldn't have taken it on board at the time. We both happened to be in a music shop, we recognised each other, I knew I knew him but I couldn't place him. He recognised me, though. He'd put on weight from what I remember, but then so have I. I don't know if he gets fatigued, if that makes him more sedentary than he used to be, but I know that fatigue is not just limited to strokes. Unfortunately my wife and I were just on the point of going back to the car, and this guy was just getting served, it would have been nice to have a proper catch-up with him. I hope he feels he's doing as well, if not better, than I've done.
BEFORE YOU START: Please note that although I currently volunteer for both the Stroke Association and Age UK, the views expressed in this blog are strictly my own. I am not a spokesperson for either (or, indeed, for any) organisation, and I accept complete responsibility for the views expressed herein. I've tried to use the Glossary to explain any ambiguous terms, but if you think there is anything I've missed, please message me.