I must admit that sometimes I don't like the person that the stroke has turned me into. I resent having to apply a "filter" when dealing with other people. Two examples from just this morning:
My wife had left an empty cardboard box next to the kitchen doorway. I mean, that's where we keep stuff ready to go into the recycling bin, so not a particularly surprising place to choose. As I walked past, I'm not as precise as I used to be and I knocked this box onto the floor. So just to get it out of the way I gave it a kick, but only really succeeded in kicking it into the middle of the doorway, where it was well-and-truly in everyone's way. I got past it and went into the kitchen to continue making breakfast, and when I came back out, the box was gone. Clearly my wife had decided to take it out to the bin there and then, lest it get in the way again. I wasn't really happy that I'd made her take it out there and then.
Again, whilst preparing breakfast, I went to boil the kettle, there was no water in it so before I even started boiling the water, I had to fill it again - my wife had used the last of the boiling water. This shouldn't be a big deal - between us all we probably fill kettles a zillion times a day. But it seems to happen on most days so I was grumbling under my breathat the extra effort - would you believe that when someone has had a stroke, it is an extra effort? I'm ashamed to have thought those thoughts over something so trivial.
I mean, I'm sure I had my foibles before the stroke, but I hate how I need to apply a mask these days in order to stop the unreasonable thoughts from poking through.
BEFORE YOU START: Please note that although I currently volunteer for both the Stroke Association and Age UK, the views expressed in this blog are strictly my own. I am not a spokesperson for either (or, indeed, for any) organisation, and I accept complete responsibility for the views expressed herein. I've tried to use the Glossary to explain any ambiguous terms, but if you think there is anything I've missed, please message me.